On Marriage and Celebrating Time…

What’s the point of a celebration of a a long-term relationship and marriage ?

It’s just the 3 of us, me, Howard, and our kiddo.

Not My Family

So, lemme tell you a couple of things about me personally. I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and I very strongly suspect I have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).
While I’m not officially diagnosed, I’m also 60, a retired special ed teacher, and a retired school psychologist who specialized in autism disorders. I’ve done the online evaluations, due to allergies there are no medical treatments I can take. So I’m good with both the official and unofficial diagnoses.

Both of these causes massive attention issues, anxiety, and a whole lot of negative thinking. At least for me. They make my life difficult as I constantly guard my what I say to people, my world views and perceptions can be quite off. I’m aware of it, I deal with it, to a certain extent I’ve trained myself both personally and professionally.

I’m also sentimental sort. I cry at commercials, weddings and babiest tear me up, those little puppy videos. And while I’m definitely not the most social person, it’s easy for folks to tug at my heart strings.

The reason I bring up my own issues in the middle of an article about my marriage celebration is celebrations are one of the ways I organize and deal with my my world. Celebrations are happy, or at least as an adult I can engineer them to be. As one who has to constantly work hard to be positive, well anything helps.

So that’s why I love to celebrate, well about anything.

Now celebrations in general are important to me. They are not important to them. Not the celebrations everyone does, like regular holidays, although birthdays can be a bit of a challenge. I love cards and wrapping paper, weekends away and surprises. They hate surprises, find cards and wrapping paper a waste of money. They both prefer to choose and usually purchase their own gifts.

I love celebrating Donut Day, National dog day, Pi Day, PANCAKE DAY!!!

Our Dating Anniversary.

We just celebrated 40 years. Life and time together.

Every year my favorite celebration.

So, question, anyone else celebrate a dating anniversary? Even after 40 years?

I love to celebrate our dating anniversary! He calls it, “Our first time at Ruby Tuesdays.” Or, “Oh yeah, that day.”

Still not Us

Last Sunday, 40 years ago, Howard and I went on our first date. That was indeed our first time at Ruby Tuesdays. Together. October 23rd, 1982

Does anyone else do that? Celebrate just the passage of time since beginning a life relationship? My reasoning is also that we’ve been pretty inseparable since October 23, 1982, also I’d prefer to think of us as a permanent couple since then, as we were a permanent couple.

Why The Celebration of the Passage of that Time?

Here’s the point of this post: These are the things I do for myself to keep my part of the marriage happy. Marriage is an entity all of its own, as is any relationship. Any long term relationship has, in my own opinion, its own rules and life, outside of my own personal rules. Those rules are agreed on, consciously or not, by both parties, just as the norms are. Remember my part in all that, looking at me alone, the happy or no, once a year at a minimum, has been imperative. You tell me, maybe this will help you?

So, here’s why else…

-It reminds me yearly why I even went out with him a second time.

-It forces me to look at the happy in my marriage twice a year.

-It reminds me that I’ve spent 40 years, 4 decades, with someone and invested that time. It gives me a checks and balances that can put things in perspective in what can sometimes be difficult situations. For everyone.

Doing so allows me to…

-let go more. I’ve suspected I have ADD for years.
As a person with a suspected disorder that can cause me to obsessively hold onto negatively that’s my biggest life challenge. I also have PTSD. That definitely does.

-focus on good and best in our marriage as part of my own life at least once a year.

-take a great inventory of my marriage and myself in the marriage.

-think about my husband’s good qualities.

-remind myself of how far I’ve come as a partner

-take a good look at how cute he still looks.

So last Sunday my husband and I spent the day celebrating the passage of 40 years since going to the original Ruby Tuesday’s on the strip in Knoxville Tennessee. Here’s a picture of it before it burned down:

This is the 1990s, The Strip, University of Tennessee

So, curious why I went back for the second date?

Next Photo Is Us…..

Well, that was the most interesting date I’d ever had. He was the most interesting man I’d ever met. He wasn’t like the other college guys. He talked about real stuff. We talked about everything that night in 1982, real things real topics and issues. He knew so much about…so much! And he was open to talking about everything and anything too. Never met anyone like that before.

Guess what? He still does and we still do. To be honest, aside from the kiddo, he is still the most interesting human I’ve ever met. He still makes me laugh. I get lots of times he’s not trying to make me laugh. But he likes that he makes me laugh. And I like that he does.

That’s us!

💙💙💙 that’s love!

And that’s something to remember and celebrate. How about you?

Stephanie Lewis is a Delaware-based Blogger and online Health Coach. Look for her new posts weekly on Fridays

Check out my socials:

Ig: @the_longevity_blueprint

YT: the longevity blueprint: the second half

FB: stephhlew


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